....not start blogging unless you can commit everyday.

That's rigt! Here Ye! Here Ye! Friends, family, and legions of adoring fans I'm back! And we're better than ever. Be on the look out for new and improved updates soon to come! Long story short, work has been super busy, and blog time was very limited. (not an excuse, just stating the facts..............What's that? FINE! DON'T READ! You were my least favorite blogfan anyway Dad! lol)

Where to start? Hmmm......(just in case you're wondering blogging is not like riding a bike)

So recently I had a good friend move down to Austin from Seattle. She's my old roommate and a good friend to both Miss Cupcake and I. We'll call her Miss Moody (just for the record it's her last name, and in no way is representative of her disposition.........after she's had her coffee). It's been a real treat to add new dimension to the evenings with a completely different perspective on the usual conversation. Tonite we got to introduce her to one of my favorite Austin treats the Alamo Drafthouse movie theater http://www.alamodrafthouse.com/. We went and saw "Away We Go" with John Krazinski (aka Jim from The Office). It was a pretty funny movie, but the real treat was gorging ourselves on Green Chile Mac N Chz, a half pound organic cheeseburger, chili cheese fries, and of course a couple cocktails. If you live in Austin or are visiting soon then do yourself a favor and go see any movie they are showing. Even if the movie sucks they have a full bar which is bound to make the experience more enjoyable.

So I feel like I must apologize to all my fans out there for something other than my lack of postings lately. In one of my most recent critically acclaimed posts about my recent travels to Seattle, I mentioned how delicious it was to drink your coffee breve. It is definitely in my opinion still the most delicious way to drink your coffee, however, its also the most fattening. Over my recent sabbatical from blogging, with the extreme working hours, I enjoyed many a breve latte. Well just recently the same friend that turned me on to them informed me that there was approximately 12 grams of fat per tsp of half and half. Being that I always order Jumbo, Large, Venti (or whatever word we use for REALLY BIG now) I started to do some rough calculations of how much I was taking in. After about 20 minutes (basic math is always so challenging) I came up with a number far too awful. Let's just say my blood was probably the same consistency of soft butter, or cottage cheese. In fact I'm fairly certain that had there been a horrible kitchen accident in which I was accidentally forked, I would have lactated rather than bled.

So what's a guy to do when faced with the love of a beverage on one hand, and on the other always having that annoying belly jiggle when he brushes his teeth? Well I stopped drinking them! (of course that's after several viewings of "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and hours of fetal position crying and making Sweetie McGee promise a million times that she'd always love me no matter what) You will all be happy to know that if I drink skinny versions of the coffee all week then on Friday I treat myself to a small breve.

Car Explosions! Nascar! Football! Hot Strippers! (ok I know that was random, but after proofreading that last paragraph I felt it was important to remind everyone I'm still a dude. A dude that even had a pair of testicles temporarily burned into his chest. There's got to be a lot of extra dude points out there for that.)

So tonite I'd like to leave you with a question and see what you're response is (also let's me check up to see if anybody is still reading this thing lol). What's your favorite type of weather and why? What does it do for you? Does it transport you back to a specific time or place? I look forward to all your responses. Thanks for hanging with me, and I promise never to let something as meaningless as providing for my family (common law) come between us again. Cheers and sleep well.

....make sure there are at least 2 other people in the elevator if you need to pass gas.

I know it's not the most classy topic, but we've all been there. Maybe you went to your favorite mexican restaurant for lunch, and it's just not sitting well. You get in the elevator in hopes to get to your floor and to the restroom quickly. In order to not die of stomach cramps you might have to let a little "toot" go (my Papa would say "make a little windy"). Here are the things you'll need to consider. If it's only you then rip away! Just make sure to fan and exit quickly so that if there are people waiting to get on at your floor it doesn't hit them in the face upon entering. If there are at least 2 other people in the elevator then SILENTLY let it out. If it smells then make an odd face as if you're smelling something you didn't expect, and then act normal as to say "I don't know which one of you did that, but I'm too nice to call you out." However if there is only one other person in the elevator then you are out of luck. Your only hope is that you pick someone else up on the way to your floor. If you don't then you will have to wait until the door opens (once you're at your floor it's ok to do a little crop dusting down the hallway to the bathroom, most offices are plagued with funky smells, and your coworkers will be none the wiser.) Feel free to apply all these principles outside the workplace as well. They work great when visiting, the mall, a hospital, dentist office, church, or the office of a friend or family member.

OK now that we've all learned something, this post has been requested for sometime now. Recently Miss Cupcake chopped a lot of her hair off. So the main reason for this post is to provide you with pictures of her new cut, and reveal her true identity to the world. Over the series of this blog I've shared pics of our dog Sweetie McGee, and myself, now with photos of Miss Cupcake you will know our entire household.

I met Miss Cupcake through friends that used to come watch me host karaoke (yes it is a real job, and yes you can make good money doing it. However don't plan on being taken seriously in a conversation until you get a real job, and become a contributing member of society). When I met Miss Cupcake I knew she was special. It was a very clear thing to me. Instantly across the room I said to myself "this is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life." I really lucked out, because at that moment we hadn't shared a word. But it's easy for me now to say that my life wouldn't be even close to this wonderful if she wasn't in it.

So here are some pictures of the now infamous Miss Cupcake and her new hairdo.

As you can see, I definitely got the good end of the deal. It's inspiring to be with someone that is so intelligent, kind, loving, and passionate, that is also so freaking BEAUTIFUL! I hope everyone gets to experience the kind of happiness I have everyday. Love you bunches Miss Cupcake, and welcome to blogging superstardom!

....choose your accessories wisely while sunbathing.

I had the pleasure of doing a little sunbathing with Miss Cupcake by our pool yesterday. As an amateur at this new "sport" I wore my accessories as usual. I have a St. Christopher pendant that Miss Cupcake gave me for our first Christmas together (No, I'm not catholic. I'm just into catholic art). I never take this pendant off, and not knowing the art of turning over, adjusting your body, etc, I got the coolest tan line ever! Without posting a picture of my man chest I will try and describe what it looks like. The tan line looks like a necklace with 2 balls positioned right next to each other on my chest. Yes, yes, your dirty mind is 100% accurate this time. Please try to contain yourself. Ok seriously, I can hear you laughing, and if you're going to make it to the end of this post you're going to have to pull yourself together. (if needed go ahead and call a friend to tell them about the tanline this guy who's blog you read got)

Now that you're ready to move on, this week has been exciting. Miss Cupcake and I purchased our own little charcoal grill. It's lime green, and looks like an old pail bucket. We got it on sale at Crate & Barrel for $24. Since purchasing it, we've used it every night. The first night we made homemade pizza on the grill, and last night we made kabobs. Here are some pics of how they turned out. (Yes that's me in the picture, my anonymity is gone. Also shown is the pendant mentioned in the paragraph above. OK OK geeze I didn't mean to get you all worked up again. Moving on!) The pizza was absolutely delicious, and the kabobs were really good, (they would've been better, but Miss Cupcake's love for Montreal Steak Seasoning accounted for a large over peppering lol, I jest). They were still good though, and we plan on using the leftovers for some delicious omelets.

The pizza dough was purchased from Whole Foods. You can go to their pizza counter, and they will sell you the balls of dough they use for their pizza. On the pizza we put olive oil as the sauce, shredded mozzarella, cherry tomatoes cut in half, marinated artichokes, roasted garlic, and a generous helping of goat cheese. First we rolled out the dough and cooked it on one side on the grill for 8-10 minutes (our grill wasn't too hot, so just make sure you don't burn it). Then we flipped it over and added the toppings to the cooked side, and placed it back on the grill. We let it cook for another 15 min until all the cheese was melted and the dough was nice and crisp. It was Delicious, and the only thing I would've changed is roasting the tomatoes on their own before putting them on the pizza. When doing the halves of cherry tomatoes as we did, the juices stay inside until bitten into, and then come rushing out like napalm in your mouth. Another way to make sure this doesn't happen is just be patient and wait for the pizza to cool a bit before taking a bite, but sadly patience is a virtue I've managed not to pick up quite yet.

The kabobs were cubed pieces of top sirloin steak from the HEB. We marinated the steak in Allegro Original Marinade, and some minced garlic and olive oil for 3 hrs before skewering. On the kabobs we alternated steak with green, red, and yellow bell peppers, as well as pieces of fresh onion. Before putting on the grill we sprinkled the kabob with olive oil and montreal steak seasoning. It is important to know that the olive oil helps the seasoning stick really well, so only put the amount you want to actually eat with each bite on there, because none of it will fall off during cooking. We cooked them on one side for 10 minutes, and then flipped them and cooked for another 5.

Growing up in Oklahoma you learn how to tell when steak is done properly (if you don't then your only chance at making friends is buying a ton of beer). So the most important part is just keeping an eye on the meat. The vegetables will cook pretty quickly, so just keep an eye on that meat. Nobody likes a dried, tough, and chewy kabob. However, if you get that perfectly juicy medium rare, then the amount of praise from your guests will never end.

*Quick tip for entertaining, if when your guests arrive you start by pouring them cocktails and then cook the food in front of them, during that hour or so of preparation they will become quite intoxicated, and your praise will be far more animated once the food is ready.

Let me give you an example. I once made cheese stuffed mushrooms for some coworkers at a dinner party. Everybody took a long time to get there, so some of the guests had been drinking non stop for over an hour before I even started the prep. Before I put the mushrooms in the oven I drizzled them with olive oil, and got an applause! 10 minutes later once everybody had a few in their stomach, you would've thought I was a celebrity chef. I was giving recipes, fielding compliments, and taking praise like Brad Pitt in an Anne Curry interview.

Well that's all for today folks. Happy America Day. Grill something, drink too much, and when in doubt DEEP FRY!